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Writer's pictureVictoria Peña, MS, LPC

8 Realistic Ways to Practice Self-Care for Exhausted Parents

Are you an exhausted parent who knows you need self-care but thinks it requires too much time?

Here are some practical self-care tips that can help you feel more rested and refreshed starting today:


1. Maximize Your Privacy


We all know, as parents, that sometimes the only way you get to be alone is when you're in your bathroom. It's not ideal - but I totally get it. So why not maximize your privacy by creating a more restorative atmosphere? Invest in some clean scented candles or plug-ins. Think about bringing in a small speaker to play calming music. Set up a place where you can sit and read your phone a little (I'm looking at you, women's bathrooms from the 80's & 90's). Just be thoughtful about how you can make the most of this less-than-ideal-but-it's-my-only-private-space, space.


2. Minimize the Noise


Have you ever stopped to notice how there can be so much noise going on around you? Maybe not, because, as a parent, I know how normal it is to tune things out. But if you stop and think I'm sure you'll become aware of all the sound bouncing around your home on a daily basis. It could be the TVs, the kids' tablets, people talking on the phone, dishes clanking around in the sink, and the buzzer from the dryer all at once. The list goes on and on. And all those layers of sound can be keeping our brains functioning on such a high frequency that we're quickly draining our battery without realizing it. Try giving yourself about 30 minutes with no noise (or at least only one layer of noise) and see how it feels.


*TIP: If you want to reduce it down to just one layer of noise, try choosing music that's scientifically designed to calm our brains like Lofi beats or classical instrumentals.


3. Stop and Stretch


Everyone will tell you how important exercise is for your overall health and well-being, but that doesn't necessarily mean it has to be an all-out 30-60 minute sweating my butt off kind of exercise in order for it to count. Anything that we can mindfully do for our bodies matters, even taking a few minutes to stretch our muscles. As moms, we're doing so much hunching, stooping, bending, lifting heavy kids, and looking downward, and that's just from our mom life let alone if you're a mom who also works. So, several seconds on a series of 3-5 stretches can be just enough to help our bodies feel relaxed, therefore, helping our minds also relax.


4. Do a Self Check-In


As great as it would be to get up every morning and feel like we're at 100% there are some, maybe even most, days that we just don't. There are many mornings I wake up feeling 50%, 75%, or even 10% and that's okay. Figuring out where your capacity is day by day and working with what you've got is far better than pushing yourself to do the work you normally do at 100%. Otherwise, you're taking the fast lane to Burnoutville, leaving yourself in a place that's really, really, hard to get out of. So if today you're feeling like you're at 50% then cut some things out of your to-do list, delegate those things to others if necessary, and replace them with nothing or something you know helps you feel recharged.


5. Ask for Help


Speaking of delegating, another practical self-care tip is one you've likely heard before. Asking for help. If this gives you a cringey feeling then we know that you likely don't do this enough. Asking for help doesn't mean you are weak. It doesn't mean that you can't do this parenting gig well or that you're not good enough. Asking for help means that you're willing to rely on the only thing that makes family units work which is having a support system. Needing help means you're human - and asking for it means you care about yourself. So reach out and ask - you'll feel grateful that you did.


6. Connect with Others


One of the easiest ways to instantly help us feel better is to mindfully connect with others. Mindfully connecting with people means choosing to connect with those who are known to fill your cup and feel like a supportive person or group of people for you. Keep in mind, that it's not a selfish thing to reach out to others because you feel like you need them to feel better. The people we choose to have in our lives are part of a mutual support system so your love and care serves them just as much as they serve you.


7. Praise Yourself


Think about how easy it is to believe yourself when you're saying something critical or judgy like , "I'm not doing enough." "I'm letting everyone down." "I'm such a bad mom." If it's so easy to believe those thoughts then our brains are definitely capable of believing us when we say something nice about ourselves. If you were able to have a smooth morning getting your kid to school - you did that - share some love with yourself! And if the entire day seems like it went horribly but you can find one thing that went right, allow yourself to feel a little pride for the one small thing. Over time, our brains will start to recognize those moments more easily and we can actually balance out the critical thoughts with some kind ones.


8. Make a Statement of Gratitude


Along the same lines as tip #7, mindfully pointing things out to yourself that you feel grateful for is scientifically proven to improve levels of happiness and decrease symptoms of stress and depression. It doesn't have to be anything grand like "I'm so grateful I get to take this vacation to Spain" (even though that's obviously something to be grateful and if you're taking a trip to Spain, girl, live!) but it can also be the littlest of things. Realistically, if we're going to practice daily gratitude then we must rely on the small things to really feel it. As I am writing this, I am so grateful I have a working coffee machine where I can brew my coffee to enjoy and caffeinate myself at home. (couldn't make it through without you, Keurig)



Conclusion


When we're in the business of parenting, taking care of our well-being doesn't just help, it's a game changer. Try 1, 2, or all 8 of these tips today, tomorrow, and the next day so you don't have to wait until your next massage appointment or trip to Puerto Rico to actually feel like you're exercising self-care. Love yourself, and show yourself the care you deserve every day, mama's. You're worth it!



Are you ready to prioritize your well-being and feel more rejuvenated? Click here to explore more of my services and how I can help!

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